You've got the idea, but theres something missing.
you know, when i started this song, i was like "omg wtf is this"... but once it started upi realized that this is kind of good. But your song could of gone one of two ways: the intense way (my way) or the soft way (isn't too good for a dnb). well you got the intense way but theres something that cought my ear: the beat just isn't right. well actually youve got the beat, just not enough of it. you need to add a more clash to it or else its just a rythme. there is also a small lack of instruments but it is barely noticible to the entrained ear.
P.S. just because i dont have any uploads doesnt mean i dont have any experience heres a log for ya: 8 year chorus, 9 years piano, 3 years guitar, and been lead singer in a band for 6 months. take in concideration that i'm 15 years old and youve got a hell of a lot of experience